Vajazzled Stye Sequence, 4

I'm not manly or crafty enough to man up
& be craftsman of TLC you deserve.
A toke-nician of THC, 
l/ a Zyklon bidet
my outflow shafts your nerves. 
Behind paintball Hungerford 
of my 1,000 punditties,
read 'impotent paintbrush'. 
But O Dark Cow up the arse w/ me,
couldn't my ropey poesy be yr 
stroppeyote, yr mephistoffee poppy, 
even tho'
it's a Faustian deal w/ forecourt flora 

& Daltonism's Rose?
My Ishihara voyelles 
earn horesshoe headgear
of drab bayleavings,
compared to Arthur Rimbaid's
chromatic ode to the spheres of assonance.
Five overlapping arches
l/ 5 overlapping 
raised eyebrows or 
5 overlapping
unravelled standards:
Arthur Rimbaud's 
abridged rainbow
of the open throated phonemes. 
For Arthur Rim-
boa-bent 
Ol' Photic Rootlessness
l/ pipecleaner petals,
festoonophonically fixed 
une corolle de cinq couleurs,
our prismatic natter 
upon a great French circumflex 
in the stye. 
Literature's most exquisite 
spectrographic analysis!

Dark Cow
who it does not suit to be as dark
as the satanicmillsheened, 
collierycoated guidedog 
of David Blunkett,
you're gonna havta slumit
in my 7th Tunket, 
where a rainbow is a lame glow
& a poet's a corny leper 
scraping his pyrite pot.
More mono- than a Dark Cow
or a hanging garden of flyover.
Or God's technicolour handlebar tash
when the Sun came out for Pride
(hi-viz fiesta for velvet ferret 
& chutney drinkers,
& Tranny Craddock & Tranny Devito
&... Him? Her? Some draggy twin 
of the Botox-butchered, Botoxed-butch Kim 
Kardashian,
w/ their Tran-ye West in tow 
strumming a tranjo.
&
an am dram trans man
who used to be a woman, 
wailing that they didn't wanna wanny
in the wounded's white van).

Now, I'm cishet,
but as a poet,
it's often assumed, yunno,
I'm homo or at least stye.