'That's Not My Praenomen' (after the Ting Tings)

Four letter word abbreviation,
it's no difficulty so why trip up your tongue when I
keep giving permission: yes you can
use paranitic soubriquet now.

Holding back, chesthair's too fair
to go full  'Gorilla
Lice', knackernit cuz
of nicknamesake, peepbic louse.   
But while striving to be polite they fuck up my name (ame ame ame). 

They call me Lasagne,
They call me Alexander,
They call me Xander.
They call me Loisarnderresez
(In Norfolk)!
That's not my name!
That's not my name!
That's not my name!
They call me 'Bottom',
the middle-class scum ,
when I say my mum got my name from
'A Midsummer Night's Dream'.
That's not my name!
That's not my name!
That's not my name!
That's not my name!

Divvy bint from West Earlham school
thought 'Lou Sammidge' was what I was called.
I give up, dum bidge, googled Lou Sammidge: 
no-one who computes is or knows Lou now. 

So latest howler, this time I'm  
'Lucozade'!
Listen, Mrs. Malaprop,
why not address me as Ly Brad Depp, if
while striving to be polite you fuck up my name (ame ame ame)

If you're calling me 'Sandy',
I'll call you an ambulance.
If you're calling me 'Sandy',
I'll call you an ambulance.