State Of The Union Address 2100 By President 
Wendell Juanito Babywalker Pizzafurter-Bush

Uh Wyatt House howdy yall, fez hairs ya Prez!
Inishly Ahd lie textend ma deepez
condolerations ta tha Peachy State's prahd, 
Atlanna wetch tekken tahds Atlannisarzed
uh lil earler, um, urgo... Hoo dargy!
Yous congressfolk darn saw laz week's 'Nooseweek'
arn thole Neuruhpatriette lobe load - way
Mericonz gotta swag tha flag, nart spake
o fedrel aid, pack pioneer pazingo
lark en vidz o bluenecks rahden hydro,

floadin arn them thar electra banjers
n barndarz. Aven scrubs frum da ghetta
hadda baseboll batta row thar rufftarp
raaffs ta flegpolls lez levvl wit sheik sharkz
- ez ISIA gon aquatactickle
arn heartlann ass, nart no globble wahmin!
Swim Laden's J.R.'d granqaeds rin carntro,
biff wall Krizdyun nufta flow lark sin,
terrah leader I-tollah Ray Nothing's
higrey aitchtow barms mart git Wahomin's

Yellerstun Woe-mart wyett az Demmercraz, bur
way wideloadlynns lyla-lemmd barb buv tharnslut
- ma doughy buoys, well het Dryoming yit!
Yoo Wez wulks arn warder, heck, drahvs arnet
lark Obesus Krysler, Hour Lard, cruise fard
parna sequoya! Ma nex gourdgrindarz NASASS
lebrel cellah cyants scumwads, hose fubard
urb satlite staykouts. See, dang midlo Marzazz
outtalunch gulches bin ay-lan cridders
- dems troggladarts ho scarf rid deetryders,

then dubyacee pay(t)rolleum! Foker-
paced quanum quacks n rockitdarc huckstars
hadda Hellispointymonkies Caves cloaked,
kays Ah seez Cherrakee neckstump cherracoke
culler down Hubbahubba tellerscope 
- shia myule ploomedge! NASA arta brownblark
tha jarks bowda Marslimbs flahin icescalp
marders ta Marz. Way know feshrahd frargs grok
wit raghaired tahdrahzers arn tarp Alp Arl
- wot dem French Frahs leddon? Shah, beg lung wharl  

Marzazz bin drah az Loofah's boot, bur shoot,
yoo yooster nart git Skimoes dezdaytoot
en Aridzoner neeva, nar pengwens
en wahs now Antarkansaw. Astramarines
needa flah ta Marz ta hellp Marzipanz,
cuz tha Lard hollurd ' Kum-by-yeehah!' drect
ta ma Coalmineduh: 'Hoss, Opreyrayshun
Marzipancipation muz prey pruhtec
blackgold butt eaties, bayous ma deperty, Prez
- ef Marz sez ya snollygostah ganef,
 
smydum wit bremstun n gulldan sairep
frum Lyle's shack, till roobay doons ar killzone catsup
map, shellacked slaughty shades o shinola!'
Yessuh, behine me larka saddlesar,
tha Beg Pardna. Hez Wel lil grain galoots' dungs
juice fa Waryacht Wun, so judaz jars
ho jive Hoostuns shadder arn Blue's lungs
kin snart tha Lard thruah Star Wahs harpoon!
Then downer Davy Crowkit's lockerroam,

well bust clymet pyrit slamic varmits!
I-tollah Ray Nothing aglubbin 'Quidit
pleez Yoo Wez, yoo wezzunt Q-klux cloots!
Jar reds aint frootzen jethrobelle crackajack
                    boots,
lark broback mounaineer kinda kafirs
- glope! Mericurz mo akbar, Ahll raybrand
Allah 'Apple Paella'! I-tollah
Rayll trah gater tears, brainwahshen brr-ounz
pleadin ya Prez lark Belzeebubby seal's
fa lean nancy - laz platoona Navy Seals

H2Uzi dem climacide Muzzies,
then libblerate dem Peez Frargs arn Moun Blank
wit streem prayerjudas. Gotta git gastanks
o tha hummerdingies shut o ay-lans'
assoline furs, bur Hundrad Yeahs Croosade
Prez. Rev. Dubyof Lattyday Mallratz planned
backen tholden days o oughtacades
bay pram tenderrump fusta finely whup
wunce weez festfulla foss fuel Marzipoop 

- bay lark Texicanz versez dem Mexcanz
agin! So Ah sez ta yall, Congressgation,
stayshun arn U.S.S. Welyum Coldy
hair en thOverglades now thars no D.C.:
tha tarm fa whistlen dixies haf paz daird!
Anna senedders arn tha U.S.S.
Termnader Two Judgmaday, locaded
onna Straits o Honalula, hoo wez
gittin fez aydrez bah netcassd, ma 
messedjez marty pottonkickin semlar:

scatbird saddle siddy nowfo You-n-i-dead
Archiplague-o arvUrmerica! Jed
Tarnationatrix frum da Gud Glactic
Neighbership Instute sez hogtyne Spays Shreks
then whammin wilecat wellz urb da jaxies
wel wen Marshan hinds - thail alligndance ta Fraydumb's
hoedown! Lez thair ingrates ho go kez Axis
wit Gog n Maygog-dayfrozdin Marslimbs,
hose Aqua47s ez tritchin
ta hydrajack uz wit Warders Mass Drownen

(dubyaemdee). Sany yooz ho waint withers
gainz bizmillah bergzilla-daychillurs,
Ahll bork yaszez arf! Kint holda holsturs,
god git laz galluns en shuddleboasters
ta Samaraterrorinly envade
Jorja Clay o Marz. Ez veeyennaville ef Slimbs
n Panz Marzipanistan posse made
(tellajunce vanjilists sez they soun lark kin).
Cold Saffrun nuffo Defcom Wun, aymen.
ThAh urshorz thextratesttrials, onest injun,

astramarines juz wailwishious hose wailarmed,
arn Red ta libralarz ay-lan ass farmz.  
Congressgation, ya Prez haz seen tecket
outta tha skellet, onest inuit:
well churg Marzpan pootrolyam larka Chinch
burg! Az ef Guantanama's centenry,
Merica gonna pardy, buck bad moon sence
Lice Hardy Oswald shart Prezdent Condy
en tow-fordy, ar sence thOPECaleps
o fordysects. N win transpordah sheps

wit laz Bermoodah shores n aqualurngs
werbah dem mer-jayhaydeens surfgunj
bur gud, en Beg Depp o fifday...urm, Ah ferget,
bur arnat day tire flate depthly gart wyett!
NoAh caint raywahnd waves geronimrawd
jayhard Jonahs wept enta Katreena Nams,
bur wiv dare-x urb dare-i-yeahs o
oil-leannes, Ah mane dem ay-leannes,
Saudi Raypublek Navy surge-jinn-sea
bay stumped hinda aye-bull! Ray Nothing, hay

wungo 'Yippee-qa-e-da!' lark hay wahs
badseed brudda o Bruise Willies - he wo
arn hestree disc en ma grayskull - but dis 
    Bruise bro's
benna Loose-fur's tannin paliss.Hint no
squit wit cullurd folk tho, cuz bran ar grain,
Ahll speshilops tha lot! Hail o ha warders
hair urreddy, bur Yoo Wezzle ace n-game
wunz Marzpans sheet slicks ta raypay karnez
o hour corralen carsma caddleproads. Aint maple
fo Marzlimbs now starkpals o desert dayzil

nart own-loil zippin moderbows urlung.
Congy, sinka pitcha o scuppernung
ef yooz bolls fo diz bill. Paz et fo hour
fellah Mericonz n Allarz devowed
bah Impravarzd Dayloovienne dayvizes
- holeast coast cloodin Trumpopliss, wetch Prez.
Trumpya Bush cooled Noo Yark: sgarn. Daird Sayshorz
o Izril Die-yesh dooshez dayloojd too. Slez
arble hour bahbuls: 'Lard, Thy Will Be Dung!'
Novta Vice-Prez Garth Vader, sAh say surlung

n Guard Bless A Merry Cur.

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