Pizzafurter-Bush 2100, easyread

A White House howdy, y'all, this here's your Pres!
Initially I'd like to extend my deepest
condolences to the Peach State's pride,
Atlanta which ticking tides Atlantisized
a lil' earlier, erm, ago. Hoo doggy!
You Congressfolk darn saw last week's 'Newsweek'
on th' old Neuropatriot lobe load - we
Americans got to swag the flag, not speak
of federal aid, pack pioneer pazingo
like in vids of bluenecks ridin' hydro 

floating on them there electro-banjoes
and barndoors. Even scrubs from the ghettoes
had a baseball bat to row their rooftop
rafts to flagpolls less level with sheikh sharks
- it's ISIA gone aqua-tactical 
on heartland ass, not no global warming!
Swim Laden's jihad grandkids are in control,
but if we're all Christian enough to float like sin,
terror leader Ayatollah Ray Nothing's
hi-grade H2O-bombs might get Wyoming's

Yellowstone Wal-mart wet as Democrats, but
we wideloadlings lilo-limbed bob above the onslaught
- my doughy boys, we'll hit Dryoming yet!
US walks on water, heck, drives on it
like Obesus Krysler, Our Lord, crucified
upon a sequoia! My next gourdgrinder's NASA'S
liberal cell of science scumwads, who's fubared
up satellite stakeouts. See, dang middle of Mars's
out-to-lunch gulches been alien critters
- them's troglodytes who scoff red detritus     

then W.C. petroleum. Poker-
faced quantum quacks and rocket doc hucksters
had Hellespontus Montes Caves cloaked,
in case I saw Cheroke neckstump Cherry Coke
colur down the Hubble telescope
- sheer mule plumage (horse feathers)! NASA ought to
        brown block
their jocks about Muslims flying ice-cap 
martyrs to Mars. We know fishrod frogs grock
with raghead tiderisers on top of Alp Isle
- what have them French Fries let on? Sure,  big long while

Mars has been as dry as Luther's boot, but, shoot,
you used to not get Eskimoes destitute
in Arizona neither, nor penguins
in what's now Antarkansas. Astro-marines
need to fly to Mars to help the Martians,
because the Lord hollered 'Kum-by yeehah!' direct
to my Callminder: 'Hoss, Operation 
Martian Liberation must, pray, protect
blackgold butt E.T.s, but you're My deputy, Pres
- if Mars says you're snollygoster ganef,

smite them with brimstone and golden syrup
from Lyle's shack, until ruby dunes are killzone catsup
map, shellacked 40 shades of shinola!'
Yes sir, behind me like a saddlesore,
the Big Partner. His Will little green galoots' dungs
juice for Waryacht One, so Judas jaws
who jive Houston's shadow on Blue's lungs
can snort the Lord thru a Star Wars harpoon!
Then down to Davy Crockett's lockerroom,

we'll bust climate pirate Islamic varmits,
Ayatollah Ray Nothing a-glubbing 'Quit it,
please, U.S., you isn't Ku Klux Cloots!
Jarheads ain't fruits in Jezebel crackerjack boots,
like Brokeback Mountaineer kind of kafirs,
gloop! America's more akbar, I'll rebrand
Allah 'Apple Paella'! Ayatollah
Ray'll try gator tears, brainwashing browns
pleading your Pres. like Beelze-baby seal's
for leniency - last platoon of Navy Seals

H2uzi them climacidal Muslims,
then liberate them Peace Frogs on Mount Blanc
with extreme prejudice. Got to get gastanks
of the hummerdingies shot of aliens'
assoline first, but 100 Years Crusade
Pres. Reverend. Dubya Of the Latterday Mallrats planned
back in the olden days of autocades
be prime tender rump for us to finally whup,
once we've fistful of fossil fuel Martian poop

- be like Texans versus the Mexicans
again! so I says to you all, Congress,
stationed on U.S.S. William Cody
here in the Overglades now there's no D.C.:
the time for whistling dixie is half past dead!
And the senators on the U.S.S.
Terminator Two Judgement Dday, located
on the Straits Of Honolula, who are
getting this address by netcast, my
message is mighty cottonpicking similar:

's catbird saddle city now for United
Archipelago Of America! Jed
Tarnationatrix from the Good Galactic
Neighbourship Institute says hogtying Space Shreks.
then whamming wildcat wells up their jacksies
will win Martian 'hinds - they'll all linedance to
Freedom's
hoedown! Less they're ingrates who go kiss Axis
with Gog 'n' Magog-defrosting Muslims,
whose Aqua47s is tritching
to hydrojack us with Waters Mass Drowning

(WMD). so any of you who ain't with us
against bismillah bergzilla-dechillers,
I'll bork your asses off! Can't hold holsters,
got to get last gallons in shuttleboosters
to Samaratarianly invade
Georgia clay of Mars. It's Vienna-ville if Muslims
and Martians Marzipanistan posse made
(intelligence evangelists says they sound like kin);
Code Saffron enough for Defcom 1, amen.
Tho' I assure the extraterrestrials, honest injun,

astromarines just wellwishers who are wellarmed,
on Red to liberalise alien ass farms.
Congress, your Pres. has seen ticket
out of the skillet, honest inuit:
we'll chug Martian poo-troleum like a Chinch
Bug! as if Guantanamo's centenary,
America's going to party, buck bad moon since
Lice Hardy Oswald shot President Condy
in 2040, or since the OPECalypse
of '46. And when transporter ships

with last Bermuda Shorts and aqualungs
were by them mujahideens surfgunged
but good, in Big Dip of '50...erm, I forget,
but on that day entire fleet definitely got wet!
Now I can't rewind waves Geronimrod
jihad Jonahs whipped into Katrina 'Nams,
but with derricks up derrieres of
oil-liens, I mean them aliens,
Saudi Republic Navy insurgency
be stumped behind an 8ball! Ray Nothing, he

won't go 'Yippee-qa-e-da!' like he was
badseed brother of Bruise Willis - he was
on history disc in my grade school - but this Bruce bro's
been to Lucifer's tanning palace. Haven't no
squit with coloured folk tho', because brown or green, 
I'll Special Ops the lot! Hell or high water's
here already, but U.S.'ll ace endgame
once Martians shit slicks to repay kindness
of our corraling cosmic cattleprod. Ain't maple
for Muslims now stockpiles of desert diesel

not only oil zipping motorboats along.
Congress, sink a pitcher of scuppernong
if you've the balls for this bill. Pass it for our
fellow Americans and Allies devoured
by Improvised Diluvian Devices
- whole East coast including Trumpopolis , which Pres.
Trumpya Bush called Bew York: 's gone. Dead Sea shores
of Israel Daesh dufuses deluged too. So let's
eyeball our Bibles: 'Lard, Thy Will Be Dung!'
Now over to Vice-Pres. Garth Vader, so I say so long
and God Bless America.