Valedictory Poem For Paris P. 
(To Accompany Now Lost Collage of Joke Admirers)

When Pazzanova departs for uni,
quits Nozza, fine city of his shared birth
- who shall lament lacrymose & loony,
& be divested of zest & mirth?

Disillusioned w/ lube & HRT,
who'll weep o'er tea(r)cups of liquidised scone?
& pound a  bosom that bats 'gainst knee?
& splurge a pension & homeowner loan,

now that lean lover, gerontophile Paz,
swots aeronautical engineering?
Norfolk's Nans are in erotic Alcatraz!
No sexts sent to the hard of hearing,

coz the Birdman of Lakenham's scooted!
Additional paramours who also cry
include Bryan Smiler, tho' it's reputed
Paz calls his naked lifeguard ' Dive-In Bri'!

& Hyra Mindley, odd name that appears
to be dickhead Myra, beard biro'd on jaw.
Or Russell Grant 4 Paz, they're starcrossed queers!
E'en our mad mum'd baulk at such daughtersinlaw!

Or Tysonia, guinea pug that guaranteed
sons of purest puppydogtails, now barks
for Paz, dogfather to her extra breed,
literal S.O.B.s who poo in parks.

Jim Branning's dessicated missus pours
sockets out for Paz she loved like Jesus & tabs.
& boiler that backs the Queen of the Poor,
bluegreen queen of cabbies, abdicant chavs

- 'twas border of doublechin & bonnet
enflaming Paz to a moneyshot blithe.
Liz Fry's printed eyes made watermarks wet
since he couldn't leave her spent in 1845.

& to ensure partners who have overcome
commonplace prudish antipathies,
Paz wooed - to clinch cinchier threesome
- cranially conjoined twins Bijani.

Silvermuffs, antikudos pulls, conquests best hushed
by that Rodney-Pob-Ralphmacchio-Biggles cross
of a leg end I call my wingbruv, 
Pazzanova of the Hardy-Pearce bros.