Larkwoman

She’s a chip butty blonde 
with pancake make-up.
They captured her beauty 
in the police mock-up.
Sink estate siren 
I sought to better
like a snobby hobby à la
‘Educating Rita’.
But I could not keep that 
Larkman lovely on the go,
lost her to irony lost on her: 
a machoman on a mini-moto.

She’s the Chav Rose of Cadge Close,
but not for long: 
underclass beauty fades young...
A little slap ‘n’ tickle, mostly 
SLAP, and it’s gone!
O my scrumptious scrubber, how can I forget 
1st time I ever leered at
the elastic on your robbed 
Topshop thong,
fake eyelash’s worth of thatch 
crowing of the snatch
and angel tat emanating from your arsecrack?

Ashtray of a spliffyman puffing 
a coner on a spring
my Larkman ladette bought me to 
commemorate our fling
(she got it from a jokeshop 
down Great Yarmouth).
We wore matching Sovereign rings, 
but hers is back at Argos. 
She still look sexy puffing that Superking, 
but it’s another nugget’s sprog
stuffin' her proto-muffintop, 
cot-death-in-waiting.

Intrauterine
Woodbines 
made her miscarry mine
in the nick o’ time...