Eloise Emerald's Adventures In The Grass, Book 9
Betwixt adjacent rosebush stems, hooks of gunk
suspended a grossly dilated snowflake
of dazzle camo, spide-ral of stellar-dendritic spokes,
crosshatching quadrilaterals alternately black
'n' white like some vortical chessboard. Smack-
dab in the warped web's centre, setter of traps
nonpareil, now flagrantly latitant, was th'orb
weaver, basking in bull's eye of distorted dartboard,
where island's every slice, small pie & fat, was
'uncoloured'
(for Higgboes of Shade & Tint are to colourwheel pedants
nowt but Manichean monochrome, neutral opposites).
Its warp & weft swirled like photonegative roulette,
whilst beneath weezspered Weeze, 'Benz...Oops,
Dragonflea,
that's one weird web.' 'Let's pluck archenemy Anansi
off his webestal,' was powerframed gastropod's gravelly
pledge to posterity or posteri-Stan Lee or some random
numen of th'Emeralds' garden. With pinball abandon,
he zebe-flea'd into Flying King's parlour. Fleaquestrian
Eloise into a fullfrontal assault co-thrust, illfated.
Despite arachno-arcana respraying it a pixelated,
pianokey-bexleyed lamprey's suckercircle, the chessweb
was still a web what incy wincies spin: sticky tensile
tra'poline
enmeshed the D-flea in 1way street organzine.
Bounceback clipped, but gossamer gropetwine
grapevined
vibrations mecha-Batroc mollusc couldn't vibrake.
Thus tussles with tessellated tarbaby wobbled awake
Flying King, scuttling forth his silhou8legged shape,
upclose a shrub kraken. In contrast to binary
decor of his web, Royal Stewart plaid finery
tricked out the spider, ochtoped suit sartorially
spun by A.McNid, Caledonian cousin of Flying King
& descendant of the meggie-spinnie famed for rallying
Rabbie the Bruce from his 'spulk' i.e. spelunking
sulk. Upon his wallcrawlers Flying King wore 8 odd
shoes, ranging from a slobby Converse to a lippysoled
Louboutin. Fearsome chelicerae clacked as he monologued
after a jejune 'muahahah', 'Well, well, well,
what have we here then? Fidgetfresh morsels!
All 3 Moirai reside in me, my hunter's 8balls
measure my captees' cholesterol, can tell chitinous Kevlar
encases soft centre of 1 snack on springs. Th'other
a Fruit Salad chew-tone damsel beetle. My larder
of gummy lace - not gummy laces, despite how that segues
in seamless theme from foresaid penny sweet phrase
- gummy with attercop's flytrap sap, it shall for morrow munchies
detain such peculiar scran amongst rest of blue children
my infinite nets have cocooned, like eponymous Alien
readied meals for chirping facehuggers in a gungeon.'
As a handlebar tash conducting the Philharmonic,
his pedipalps flapped about at Pinterest insect picnic
prey unstraying from gossamer greybars of entropic
dicing. Elsewhile, Eloise had a sly gander
at Flying King's other trussedup prisoners
(could even be a cameo from 'Ego the Flysander').
Tho' chessweb's 'dinnerguests' were in main dipteran,
bug game hunter's restraining reticulation
had bagged anomalous delicacies, such as a wasp in
a wig (upon whom Weeze's lyncean gawp lingered
not at all: boxoffice pewter of a shykered
vespid even 1-eyed cartoonist observed).
Webbedup next to Tenniel's bete-noire-et-jaune,
however, was selfsame tiddliwink-poleyned buzfoon,
whose Rick Moranis hiphop had her procerity shorn.
Betwixt oscillating ommatophores of a masked mollusc,
Eloise psst'd ' Psst! Ludo, you twonk!' to his near-husk.
He responded, pluckily for a pressganged bloodbank:
'Gi-gi-ginger gi-giantess? Here? In this silk soup,
with floundering flies on ropes of geometric goop
gone goofy, the spider's bosom? I'm soz my Shrinking Rap
reduced you to this.' Before Weeze could be speechless, E.
Dragonflea
trialogued, ' In 2 shakes of a muggeseggele, I'll have us free!'
At this, Lewd-o pricked up his Johnston's, but all the
pulexpowered g-pod, D-Flea, did was brace the arachitecture.
His leverageless webrations fed to Flying King, nerve centre
of string vestible where 1 couldn't swing a caterpillar,
who, like Thing Addams cosplaying as a bagpipe, scurried
at citigrade-pace over to where the D-Flea flailed.
'Lookylooky (x4), this web-newb is a froward
little freedom fighter! But his frowardness will be fruitless.
Evolution has vouchsafed me for a fairy chess piece.
My web is the board, terra infirma playing offence.
There are no noble hunters, arach-Nimrods or Diana Spiders.
Flukey adaptation, not skill or strategem superior,
preordains each play: match starts out zugzwang for prey.
Winners
& losers are not so placed due to moves of merit.
Instead, advantage awarded, up to & including environments,
is a stitchup like a web. If might is right, then with inbuilt
cheat
comes life for the mighty born. & traps & wiles be but a mighty
abundance of materials. My feast of flies a fait accompli
I chalkup only down to Mother Nature's false modesty.
Real game of kings is armwrestling over chessboards.
Even as 96 glints in their dads' 96 eyes, I'd checkmated
flies, destined foodchain prince of this bloomyard!'
'Oi, Percy Dovetendrils! Buttknit yourself a scacchic gag!'
Ludo heckled speechifying spider. A deathbed wag
on dregs of obnoxious elan vital, plus the haemogogue
camaraderie Weeze's grokking proximity instilled,
he also provoked Percy Dovechelicerae in for the kill!
(Cliched cliffhanger spoiler: they were saved by the bell.
Except the bell
was satsumo
catsuma shad-glow
Eloise
SHARE SO THAT I'M FAMOUS BEFORE I'M DEAD ; -)