Had A Bag  
(Jane's Addiction parody & rejoinder to 'Tiddles...' by Tom 'Momus' Taylor) 

I had a bag
Owned it for so long
I turned around 
I found my bag had gone
was by my feet
while I sat on the train
I’m on the platform now
my bag is still on the train……
Well I spoke to the attendant
asked could he help me 
He viewed me as an irritant
Was the least help as he could be
I’d lost my wallet, phone
and my kindle,
oh the shame - 
of whats on my kindle!
( derr deer de) D’oh!
(derr derr de) Shit!
If you find my bag 
please call my number
its written on the back
My kindles broken so don’t bother
I bought it second hand!
the books arent even mine!
that E.L. James and twighlight stuff?
the last owner left behind!
If you find my bag 
please call my number
its written on the back
My kindles broken so don’t bother
I bought it second hand!
the books arent even mine!
that E.L. James and twighlight stuff?
I never read!
not my taste at all….
honest yeah
I had a bag
Owned it for so long
I turned around 
I found my bag had gone
was by my feet
while I sat on the train
Im on the platform now
my bag is still on the train……
on the train
on the train
its still on the train