!%#*edup, Friedup, P-p-para & Dunnin 
(For Sheriff Shiraz)

Won't some Licey-no-mates-nappin'
Venus Lousetrap patch of scrubland,
some serendipyourtoes sinkhole
slow hoover me to Hell &
leave jack terrestrial to tell
of me other than
a Superdrug scrunchie unsloovered
on the ground?
Or a Poundland hairband now
my ponytail's thinned on the ground.

& I blame myself, everyoneelse,
die Gesellschaft &
the double jeopardy of my genes.
Just coinkydink druggywugs
& boozywooze always make the scene
when I make one too
or don'even go.
So why enquire when you wince
when I tell you that I been

*$@!edup, friedup, p-p-para & dunnin?

I'm a stranger to myself
& I'm scared of my friends,
Sundaymorning schizoid,
splitzoid, ain't much betwixtoid
Del O' Leary & Hans Treymaine's 
shakes, both too bad to shake
hands, tho' they're always slurring 
to one another they're best of friends.

Bale of nerves, name of Norris the Purvis,
who stammers round Norwich parish p-p-para,
'less I'm sp-sp-spannered, hammered, bladdered.
But then comes the chemical cabinfever,
cowardly custard comedown,
so whether you  be my sugarplum
or aspartame greengage scum,
best you don't come in, coz I'm 

%$?#edup, friedup, p-p-para & dunnin.

Dear Divine Providence,
please teleport my sweaty white synecdoche
outta everywhere. 
Alright, Leviathan,
why not whale-wolf me down like 
Jonah or Gepetto's son
(who took fright when he met
Jiminny Termite)?

When I got dat wild manflu,
wanna be Robinson Fuckyouso
in shipwreckt peace 'n' quiet.
I'm morning after mashanthrope
 - yunno no 'Mayday' means I'm 

£?%&edup, friedup, p-p-para & dunnin.

So, soz, madman Friday freres, but S-O-S
ain't macronym I'd majuscule
with desert doley driftwood. Nope, I'd abbrev-
iate loopy loner LOOL sandier for dem rescue 
planes to read & into dryphoon cerulean  
receeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeede,
leave me marooned on Hangxiety Island

%$?£edup, friedup, p-p-para & dunnin.