Fuck You , Mr.Stork

Fuck you, Mr.Stork,
for this short changeling, shopsoiled babe,
tho ' I did screw a psychotic hobbit,
guess I'm partly to blame.

I'll see this burden thru, do a hatchet psych-job
- of that, Mr.Stork, sir, have no doubt.
I solemnly promise each latest boyf
inalienable right to kick 'n' clout.

And of course I'll do all I can myself
to browbeat anklebiter into angsty beta fuck.
Everyday I'll repeat that he doesn't match up
and all he was good for was bad luck.

Frogs and snails and puppydogtails
are what alpha males are made of.
And beta fucks are mummy's boys,
but alpha beta fucks, epsilon omega poofs

are made of pure love. Who idealise
mum's love denied into panacea thru desperation.
As if Tim Mouse in the nellie-carriage, belles recoil
from eau de pathos, anti-pheromonic incel perspiration.

O he'll turn the other cheek
to shield from Social Services one with the red hand mark.
Scratching at the shed door like he miaowed,
or locked out on the patio like he barked.

Puny pure love wears Y-fronts over his flagging chromosome,
but us gals froth our gussets over flash pants fascists.
Pavlov and De Sade having a stab at being gay dads
couldn't rear such a magnificent masochist.

My sadsack lad'll be lonely till end of his days
- let's toast to that, Mr.Stork, 'ear, 'ave a drink!
You know you're kinda sexy for a heron's cousin,
and that beak must be at least 10 inch...

Yeah, I know the beta brat's blahin',
but miserable lil' git might as well get used to it.
Fuck me, Storky, you saucy ciconiiform
(say, didja know 6 billion sherries have rendered Santa impotent?)

And tho' I wish you'd airdropped this Wednesday
child instead in China or County Cork,
I'll swear on the Bible that my new bloke, Nigel,
didn't lamp my nancy boy in County Court,

coz 'aving his Ma beat that beta meh into him means
he'll sing 'Beat me outta me', beaten at sixteen. Job done.  
Storks and vultures, hens and harpies: birds of a feather.
When he tells you to fuck off too, Mr.Stork, rues birthdays, I've won.

Yet should some Plain Jane on heat plop out a grandkid,
by miracle of stork stones or at the mercy of drunken need,
sadistic fleet, Stork & Sons PLC, will deliver
intergenerational dissatisfaction guaranteed.