Daddy & the Dinnerlady

Black midday Daddy did the derdy on Mummy,
met a homewrecker dropping off my dinner money.
Then when Mummy went to dry out, Dad rattled off a text,
inviting Dinnerlady to eat his meat 'n' two veg.
Whilst Mum had her hysterectomy,
Pop undid an adulteress's apron with his teeth.
More than olfactory Bisto ecstasy
had 'em barricade kitchen door and both exclaim 'Ahhhh!'

Weren't me Daddy picked up in the playground,
it was the fragrant Dinnerlady
- heady scent, Givenchy and gravy!
Gavinchi and a nice meat jou...

Me Daddy stood up in the playground,
was the rampant
Dinnerlady in Daddy's Ebay Mercedes.

My Daddy did a Dinnerlady;
Delia was Delilah, she did in for my Daddy.

Then a sleb chef did a school visit pay,
on photo-op thumbs-up for getting 5 a day.
Canteen full of cameras, Jamie Oliver
copped that Dinnerlady and copped off with her!
Minted mockney cook nicked his mistress, then Mum
announced she and the school bully were an item.
Distraught, Daddy packed me a packed lunch and fled
to swat himself with a spatula till his brain haemorrhaged

Weren't me Daddy picked up in the playground,
it was the fragrant Dinnerlady
- heady scent, Givenchy and gravy!
Gavinchi and a nice meat jou...

Me Daddy stood up in the playground,
was the rampant
Dinnerlady in Daddy's Ebay Mercedes.

My Daddy did a Dinnerlady;
Delia was Delilah, she did in for my Daddy!

Demon Dinnerlady, you
took my Daddy off the menu.