The Dictionary Told Me To Do It (McGouggherel)

As to motive, Officer, it was evil etymology,
not Pete St.Cliffe's paracusia that goaded me
to fillet the Fine City east to west, Thorpe to Costessey,
notchup in notorious gore eventrated prozzies.
For there's a crime and a place in the pages of my Chambers:
 'Rip (cf. Fris.rippe, Flem.rippen, NORW.RIPPA)'.