Cynical Ickle Sausage (Of A) Song

Munter (la-la) lookin’ like a lionmaned cementmixer w/ lippy on!
Mother (la-la) lookin’ like old mutton dressed as coquettish Quorn!
Charva (la-la) lookin’ like he’d biffulate a bibliophile  ASAP!
Papa (la-la) lookin’ like… Who knows? Even the stepdads are AWOL.

Haint seen a sausage of a role model, no, I
hant seen a sausage of my role models!
But f'real, m’darl, could be damn sight worse,
‘least us cherubs dodged Cath'lic curse:
we did not at a tender age 
behold 
our role 
model’s 
saus-
age!

Thinker (la-la) lookin’ like he's kipless as a supergrass in Kuklinski's sights.                      Grafter (la-la) lookin’ like ya get a swisher Skinner Box for being a good Gibeonite!
Leader (la-la) lookin’ like Israfilian adman, Armageddon Go Team! 
Wife and kids (la-la) lookin’ like a pair of tits plumping up parasites!

Haint seen a sausage of a role model, no, I
hant seen a sausage of my role models! 
But f'real, m’darl, could be damn sight worse,
‘least us cherubs dodged Cath'lic curse:
we did not at a tender age 
behold 
our role 
model’s 
saus-
age!

And mainstream meeja, never dream ya
kewl role model moguls
- I’d rather get fucked up than be 
square arrow like Auntie Ben Fogle! 
Auntie Ben Fogle! Auntie Ben Fogel!
Rather fuck myself up than be square 
arrow like Auntie Ben Fogle!